Is Splitting Up The Right Decision?

Separation, after you have been together for a long time, is not a decision to be taken lightly and sometimes it can be a situation that drags over time. You may be unsure if it’s a good idea, you might want to give it another chance, or even not have what you need to go through with it.

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For instance, if you’re unemployed and financially dependent of your partner, getting a divorce can be a difficult task for you (as it implies leaving your home and being the sole bread-winner in a household).

You may also be having second thoughts on the effects and consequences a separation might have on you and your children, on an emotional level. It’s not easy raising children alone or being simply alone. This is especially true if you’ve been in a couple for a long time and are used to having someone to share chores with and make decisions.

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Is Splitting up Best?

Even if you’re still wondering whether or not a separation is the best way to go, there are situations where breaking up is indeed the best for you, your children, and sometimes even your ex. How can you tell if you and your spouse are facing one of those situations, where separation is best for the whole family? How can you make that decision and not regret it?

A Trial Period

Most couples, don’t go straight into final separation, but rather take some time apart first, to “cool off” and clear their heads. That period of distance is often beneficial in making a sound decision and taking on a new perspective of your family, your marriage/cohabitation, and potential separation.

When is Separation Best for Everyone?

Although every family has its specificities, there are certain circumstances, where separation can help everyone lead happier, healthier lives. Even if you are the one initiating the process, splitting up can be equally helpful for you, your spouse/cohabitee, and your children. 

When There Is Abuse

When there is domestic violence, the situation is very traumatizing for both the parent being abused and the children. You need to protect yourself and your children from both physical and psychological abuse, and separation is a good place to start, if you want to discontinue the cycle of violence.

When Your Home Is a War Zone

No one enjoys living in a house where arguments lead nowhere. You and your children deserve happiness and living in harmony.

When Hatred Has Developed

Even if you’re not talking to your spouse/cohabitee, some things you can just sense. It’s not good for you or your children to live in an environment where people hate each other. It’s preferable to live apart, but on good terms.

Substance Abuse

Drug or alcohol abuse are severe illnesses and need treatment. Often addiction drags the whole family into a very complicated situation, and if your partner is unwilling to get treatment for their addiction, in order to protect your family, divorce and separation are good options.

When Dragged into a Downward Financial Spiral

If you or your spouse/cohabitee have extensive credit debts and are living in very unstable circumstance, or if your partner refuses to deal with a gambling problem, you may need to leave the marriage/cohabitation. This is not to say that you should leave your partner at the first sign of financial trouble. However, when the relationship is cause for your children not to be able to live financially stable lives, it may be best to consider other options.  

When There Is Disrespect

Whether your spouse/cohabitee has many affairs or often demonstrates lack of respect in other ways, it may be best to leave the relationship. For the sake of your dignity as a human being, and as a role model for your children, you may find separation to be the best solution.

Full reference: 

, (Jan 5, 2016). Is Splitting Up The Right Decision?. Retrieved Jul 24, 2019 from Explorable.com: https://explorable.com/e/is-splitting-up-the-right-decision

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