Handling Separation and Divorce

If you have had a long-term relationship with a partner, whether you have been married or cohabiting, its end can be painful and difficult to endure. This is especially true if you have children. However, you can come out stronger, and learn the lessons that will help you find the love of your life. 

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Separation and divorce are trying times in life, but the process can feel easier, if you understand what you are going to go through. Nobody enters into a marriage or a cohabitating arrangement, with the idea that one day it will come to an end, but as you know too well, that does happen sometimes. Right now, you might feel overwhelmed by millions of thoughts and emotions. If you have children, this would only be amplified. It may not seem like it at the moment, but you can come out stronger, and build a better life for both yourself and your children. 

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Is Your Relationship About to End?

You may still love your partner with your whole heart, but even in that case, relationships don't always work out, and it is best to be alert for the 11 signs, telling you that your relationship may be in trouble. Naturally, no couple is happy all the time, and everybody argues occasionally, but when fighting becomes unhealthy, perhaps the time has come to consider your options. 

Another reason many couples become dissolved, is because of infidelity and betrayal. These two can be painful to stomach, especially when coming from someone you trust. However, anything is preferable to abuse and aggression - if those two are a part of your relationship, it is crucial to seek immediate help. 

At the end of the day, you probably have plenty of arguments both for and against ending your relationship, but there are some specificities, which can help you decide if breaking up is the right decision

You and Your Separation

As insecure as you may feel about ending your relationship, if a child asks you do to so, it may be a real eye-opener. Nobody is saying that separating from your partner is a simple task. In fact, there are 10 main challenges, you may need to consider. It may sound strange, but couples therapy is one of the greatest tools you can use, to solve the difficulties surrounding your separation or divorce. Still, it won't magically make you move on. The first step to doing so, is taking the time to mourn your relationship. You may experience severe guilt, due to your decision, but remember that if you don't feel happy in your relationship, then separation is best for everyone. 

The only way to lead a fulfilling life after the separation, and rebuild your identity, is to deal with the negative emotions, characteristic of each separation or divorce. You would then be able to handle even the difficult news of your ex-partner being in love again

Helping Your Children

It is inevitable that your children are the ones who would be most influenced by your decision to separate. Helping them cope in a healthy way, begins by delivering the news skillfully. Although, given time and patience, your children will understand, you also have to expect diverse initial reactions to the separation. As a newly single parent, you will have plenty to deal with, but it is certainly not an impossible adjustment. One of the upsides of your new circumstances, is that you will be able to set the household rules you want, and thus create an environment you feel good in. 

Whatever direction you have decided to take for your life after the separation, it is still crucial to have a civil relationship with your ex, for your children's sake. It would also benefit you, because it would help you deal with children's negative reactions together. In any case, the entire family can always use talking to a psychologist.

Challenges of Separation

Although it happens rarely, you should still be prepared, in case your ex-partner doesn't engage with the children. This behavior can be hurtful for your kids, but you can help them handle it in a healthy way. Alternatively, a child may disengage from one of the parents, which is also a situation that should be monitored closely. 

One of the biggest challenges of separation, which most parents face, is custody of the children. Handling this topic well, can help your children feel comfortable with their new circumstances, rather than experience the torment of guilt and ambiguity. Still, your kids will likely need additional support, in order to accept the presence of a new romantic partner, in your life or the life of your ex. 

Moving on with Your Life 

Although ending a long-term romantic relationship is a difficult feat, there is life past the separation. Once you have mourned your relationship, it is time to go out and find a new romantic interest. Your children may not be too enthusiastic about the idea at first, but it is important to build a relationship between them and your new partner.  Being with someone new can seem foreign at first, and so you might benefit for preparing yourself for a healthy new relationship. When you find another person you really love, you may even decide to live together, remarry, or raise your children as one big family. At that point, it would be crucial, for your children's wellbeing, to handle mutual events with your ex in a positive way. 

As you can clearly see, although separation can be very difficult on everyone involved, you have the strength and skills to make the most out of the new circumstances. In case you ever doubt yourself, you can review all the tips and approaches we have provided. 

Full reference: 

, (Jan 12, 2016). Handling Separation and Divorce. Retrieved Dec 16, 2017 from Explorable.com: https://explorable.com/e/handling-separation-and-divorce

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