Loving Your Body

Rape is so damaging because it takes something that is ordinarily pleasurable – sex – and turns it into a weapon. This weapon is used against us not on our property, but on the very place we live: our bodies. Reclaiming the body as a site for joy and wellbeing is a good way to undo some of the trauma of an event that turned it into a momentary battlefield.

Exercise for Loving Your Body

Here are some ways that you can start loving your body and remembering that it’s a source of happiness, too. As an exercise, pick one or two of the following and find a way to bring them into your life, today. Jot down your results in your journal and see if you might not like to have a few of them in your regular routine as you move towards recovery.

Joyful Movement

Use your body to swim, run or dance. Take a beginner’s salsa class or go bounce on a bouncy castle. Let your body take you on a wonderful hike somewhere or take up yoga. Stretch every morning and stop slouching. Sexual assault can erode your inbuilt sense of autonomy – so reassert those boundaries by enjoying yourself exactly as you please.

Eat to Heal

You might be tempted to binge on mountains of comfort food or even to drink, or overindulge on coffee. Try to make sure that you’re giving your body what it needs to stay healthy and strong, however. Up your fruit and veg intake and enjoy plenty of green tea or water, make sure you’re getting enough fiber and good quality fats, and if you tend to stop eating when you are stressed, make sure you have nutritious snacks around to encourage healthy eating – think about nuts and seeds, dark chocolate or fruit.

Sleep

The best thing about sleep is that you only need to set the stage – if you can put yourself to bed at night with a clear heart and a restful mind, you know that your body will get to work repairing damaged tissue, sorting and organizing everything you’ve learnt and taken in that day, refreshing and restoring you. Get 7 to 9 hours of good quality sleep. Invest in black out curtains, a firm mattress, or some earplugs, if your environment is not the perfect sleep sanctuary.

Groom

Earlier on, we spoke about the necessity of discharging all the pent up stress in our bodies after a traumatic moment. For some people, a good way to do this is through grooming. Many animals groom – not just human animals! – and it’s more or less the same as giving yourself a hug. Grooming sends a deep unconscious message that you are worthy of being loved and cared for – a very healing message, I’m sure you’ll agree.

Get your hair trimmed or do your nails. Scrub up with a homemade sugar scrub, which costs next to nothing, to make yourself feel better cared for. Splurge on a beautiful smelling face mask and relax for a bit, while you get a massage or a wax. Something about taking control of our external appearance is very empowering – and it correlates to an inner sense of peace, self esteem and wellbeing.

Apply in Your Life 

Once you’ve chosen one or two of these exercises, give them a go today and be curious about how you feel. Do you feel goofy about it, or that you should rush through it so that you can get on with more legitimate things? Does your mind jump in with all the reasons why you actually don’t deserve or can’t afford to eat well or sleep enough? Pay attention to all these reactions, and let them go with patience.