Male Victims of Sexual Assault

The truth is that men can and do experience sexual assault (as well as domestic violence) and the trauma associated with it can be as bad as for women, and sometimes even worse.

Special Considerations

If you’re a man reading through this course, please know that all the information offered here applies just as much to you as to women. However, because male victims of sexual assault tend to be less visible, you may in fact experience other complications that women don’t.

Overcoming the Obstacles

For a start, reporting the crime may feel almost like an unbearable idea to you. Unfortunately, our ideas of masculinity and femininity often obscure the truth about assault on men. Victims are assumed to be “lucky” or the assault is not taken seriously. Worse still, many will assume that if a rape of a male is physically able to occur, then he must have wanted it in some sense since his body was going along with it (this is similar to the “dangerous myth” we encountered previously).

Specificities of Male Rape

• Male rape and sexual assault can and does happen

• It’s no less serious than when it happens to women

• Men can be victims of both women and other men

• Men are less likely to report for fear of the repercussions

• Men often feel as though they receive less support and acknowledgment of their assault. They are expected to “toughen up” and just deal with it

• Men who are are victimized are not weak or less of a man if they are victimized in this way – in fact it’s often social conditioning about masculinity that prevents a man from defending himself against a woman

• Younger men or boys who are assaulted are assumed to be “lucky” or fulfilling a boyhood fantasy rather than understood to be victims of child abuse

• People assume that if a male experiences an erection or ejaculation during an assault, that this is the same as consent – it isn’t

You Are Not Alone

If you, or someone you know, are experiencing this, know that you are not alone. The single best thing you can do for yourself is to resist the temptation to “bottle up.” Try to seek the support of a male, sex-positive therapist to discuss your emotions with and work together on a way through the trauma. Don’t feel afraid to speak up and ask loved ones in your life to support you in the ways that you need.

Speak Up

And if you feel able, absolutely report the incident. Male rape and sexual assault flourishes in secrecy, with many people not understanding its true incidence and the effect it has on real people. Speak out, if you’re able.