It’s All Normal

Don’t fight against your body – trust it to do what it needs to, even if it doesn’t quite match the images you have in your head of “rape victim.” You absolutely don't need to react in any "expected" way - whatever you are feeling, and whatever your reaction may be - that is normal. Listening to what your body and what it needs, will help you heal faster. 

How Do YOU Feel?

Understanding what it is that you feel is the first step to recovery. Take a look at the suggestions below, and see if any of them may apply to you.

I feel...

• Shocked and numb

• Like I can’t cry

• Like all I can do is cry

• Mortified, as though I could die of embarrassment and want to just disappear into a hole

• I’ve lost trust in someone I cared for …and trust in everyone!

• I don’t feel strong enough to do anything at the moment

• I can’t think straight

• I’m jumpy, nervous and suspicious of everything now

• I feel dirty, broken and like I’m worthless

• Mad as hell. I want revenge. I’m so angry I feel like I could scream

• This whole thing is so revolting

• Was it really assault anyway? Maybe I encouraged it

• What did I do to deserve this? My friends/family are going to be so disappointed in me

• My stomach is in knots and I haven’t slept

• Did I catch something? What if I have AIDS?

• I feel like I can’t breathe or think straight

• I don’t think it’s really “hit home” yet

• Weak and powerless. I wish there was something I could do about all of this, but I can’t

• …like I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t even remember most of it

• I think? Am I supposed to feel this calm?

• Other (add your own)

Are Your Feelings and Thoughts Normal?

You may have noticed that the last one contained a question. Actually, most of the above contain a question – the same question: is this normal?

Well, the answer is yes, yes it is. You may be worried that your response is over-the-top or not enough. You may be surrounded by people who keep telling you, “oh you must be feeling so…” But know that it’s all normal – and it’s normal to feel none of these, all of them, or a different one every five minutes!

Exercise

To open up a safe, non-judgmental space where you can begin your healing, jot down a few of your feelings in your journal. Try not to write what you think you should, write what you actually feel. Then at the top of the page, write in big block letters, THIS IS NORMAL. Watch closely if you’re telling yourself mentally, “I don’t know what’s gotten into me…” or “I know it’s silly but…”

Just feel what you feel. Picture all those stress hormones in your body. They want to get out – accept the way that you body has chosen to do this.