How to Be Less Self-Critical

, Psychologist, liyap.com 4.9K reads

Self-criticism can have a harsh, detrimental effect on one's happiness, self-esteem and relationships. However, luckily you can change your self-perception and transform your negative self-assessent into a powerful, positive tool. 

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The human mind seldom rests. Thoughts occupy our mind at all times, even when we are not aware of it. Among these thoughts, it is estimated that we make between 300-400 self-evaluations per day.

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What Is Self-Criticism?

For the majority of us, these evaluations are of the negative kind. Research findings reveal that the majority of an average person’s self-evaluations are negative, with only a small portion being positive. These negative self-evaluations are referred to as self-criticism.

Where to Begin

Our mistakes and perceived inadequacies can torture us for days on end, and force us to engage in self-punishing, destructive behaviors. However, you can initiate the process of self-compassion and constructive criticism, by first analyzing how self-critical you are at present.

Self-criticism is known to negatively impact both the body and the mind. In order to learn how to deal with negative self-assessment, take a look at the types of self-criticism and the ways in which they manifest in our lives.

Nuances of Self-Assessment

Self-criticism also differs with respect to gender and may have varying effects on the individual. What may come as a surprise, is that self-assessment can have both advantages and disadvantages. However, before you try to deal with your self-perspective, it’s imperative to check if self-criticism is affecting you adversely.

If you realize that this attitude is either impacting you or a loved one negatively, the second step is to monitor its occurrence. Write down your self-critical thoughts, as well as emotions and trigger circumstances, in order to understand what behavioral patterns you need to work on. Then, you'd be free to monitor your thoughts and behavior and work towards substantial, positive change. 

Utilize Specific Techniques

Once you are able to notice and monitor self-defeating behaviors, it is time to work on the specific techniques you can use, in order to become less self-critical. These include letting your emotions be, without trying to suppress them, as well focusing on constructive behaviors. Being mindful of your critical thoughts is a large part of creating a healthier behavior.

Balancing Your Life

In order to gain a more comprehensive understanding, evaluate your judgmental attitudes and, if needed, file a case against any unjustified self-criticism. Creating a healthy balance between constructive self-criticism and self-compassion is incredibly valuable. In order to help you achieve that goal, you can try a few proven techniques, such as empathy,  talking to yourself like you would talk to a friend, as well as building a strong support system.

Recovering From Self-Judgment

Another way of tackling self-criticism is by replacing it with a more thorough and reality-based perception of oneself. This might involve experimenting with self-criticism or reinventing your thoughts in a more positive light. Introducing compassion into your tendency to criticize yourself, may help you become motivated in a constructive way, rather than brought down by your own negative perceptions. Through this technique, you can also turn self-criticism into self-confidence, as well as enjoy compassionate self-awareness.

Full reference: 

(Mar 29, 2016). How to Be Less Self-Critical. Retrieved Dec 12, 2018 from Explorable.com: https://explorable.com/e/how-to-be-less-self-critical

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