Adjusting Your Standards

, Psychologist, liyap.com 2.2K reads

By now, you understand the issue of perfectionism and how people who struggle with OCD are constantly setting impossible standards for themselves and others.

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Having high standards is one thing, being rigid is another. Oftentimes, people say that their lives have been turned into a living hell by their own impossible standards. They drive loved ones away, forcing us to work more than we have to. However, as long as you are willing to try something different, you can cope with and adjust rigid standards.

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Social Standards

People who experience OCD, especially in severe forms, can also have a hard time socializing or spending time with other people. Their obsessive thoughts and constant ritualizing, makes it difficult to spend casual time with friends, visit new places, or go on vacations. On top of that, people with OCD can sometimes be extremely picky about who they spend their time with. This is the main reason why for many of them, finding the perfect date can be a nightmare – the issue of dating will be discussed later on.

It’s not that people who struggle with OCD have a tendency towards solitude, it’s just that their preoccupations make social interaction a lot more difficult.

Broaden Your Horizons

The key to adjusting your social standards is, of course, variety. Make an effort to spend time and socialize with as many different people as possible. Ask your colleagues to a cup of coffee after work or at lunch. Engage in small talk with the building’s janitor. Don’t just spend time with a select group of people, but instead make an effort to talk to everyone.

Moral Standards

For most of us, morality is a sensitive topic that may be difficult to discuss, especially in front of strangers. Nevertheless, our personal and cultural values represent a crucial aspect of everyday life. All decisions, big or small, are usually taken on the basis of these codes of conduct that we acquire and refine throughout life.

Your Own Moral

Occasionally, moral standards take the form of difficulties for people with OCD, mainly because morality and religion can easily turn into an object of obsession. The best way to deal with uncompromising moral standards is by challenging your irrational obsessions and finding alternative thoughts to replace the old, irrational ones. Keep in mind that moral standards exist only to maintain a certain level of order and decency in our society. You don’t have to idolize them or accommodate your behavior to them at all times.

Professional Standards

Work is where many people with OCD feel most comfortable demonstrating their high standards. It’s completely understandable, considering that most jobs are highly competitive and everyone wants to stand out in some way.

When it comes to professional life, people with OCD might prefer to impress others with remarkable skills and quality standards, rather than with personal favors that might boost their careers. While that may be considered an admirable approach, one that deserves praise and respect, it’s also important to ask ourselves, “Where do we draw the line?”. If you find it difficult to tell the difference between going the extra mile and putting in an unreasonable amount of effort, you might benefit from a new approach.

The Value of Feedback

Try to set aside your personal standards for a while, and focus on the company’s requirements. You can also talk to your boss or supervisor about their expectations and ask for feedback on your work. Constructive feedback is very useful, because it would help you see another point of view, as well as avoid doing more than what is required.

Full reference: 

(Mar 10, 2016). Adjusting Your Standards. Retrieved Dec 14, 2018 from Explorable.com: https://explorable.com/e/adjusting-your-standards

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