Personal Bill of Rights

Perhaps from childhood you have been treated poorly and you know no other way. The funny thing is, when you see a friend being bullied or treated unfairly, you would probably want to jump in and defend them. When that person is you, it might be a different case altogether. Now is the time to become your own best advocate. Stand up and be an ambassador for your rights.

A More Assertive You

The below is a list of what is called a ‘Personal Bill of Rights’. These are things that everyone is entitled to. Read them carefully and repeat them every day.  Reflect on which ones you have acted on in your day, and note any that you find difficult. If any feel uncomfortable for you, can you identify a particular reason why?

Sometimes others may question the bolder, more assertive you, if they are used to dominating. As a rule, people don’t like change very much, but let that be their problem, not yours. If a friend doesn’t like the more confident version of you, are they a friend worth having? Over time, people will come to admire your efforts for assertiveness and respect the integrity that comes with it. Just remember that being assertive is not the same as being rude.

Personal Bill of Rights

Below you will find some of our suggestions, but don't hesitate to add your own, as long as they are positive and will lead to the desired long-term results.

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.

2. I have the right to say "no" to requests or demands I can’t meet.

3. I have the right to express all of my feelings, positive or negative.

4. I have the right to change my mind.

5. I have the right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

6. I have the right to follow my own standards.

7. I have the right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.

8. I have the right to determine my own priorities.

9. I have the right not to be responsible for others’ behavior, actions, feelings, or problems.

10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.

11. I have the right to be angry at someone I love.

12. I have the right to be uniquely myself.

13. I have the right to feel scared and say “I’m scared.”

14. I have the right to say “I don’t know.”

15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behavior.

16. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings.

17. I have the right to my own needs for personal space and time.

18. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.

19. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.

20. I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.

21. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.

22. I have the right to change and grow.

23. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

24. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.

25. I have the right to be happy.

Key Points

• You may be so used to being treated unfairly that you think it is normal.

• Creating a Bill of Rights for ourselves is a way of affirming our self-worth and the guidelines by which we expect to be treated.

• When we change ourselves, some people feel threatened. Time and voicing your needs respectfully helps everyone adapt.