, Psychologist, liyap.com24.2K reads

Compassion may not seem like something relevent to self-confidence, but since it is about the love we feel for both ourselves and others, compassion is a big part of having a healthy self-esteem. 

Having compassion for yourself, is equally important as having it for others. Being gentle and kind to yourself, and to those around you, can help you build your self-esteem, forge stronger bonds with others, and lead a happier life as a whole. 

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Compassion for Others

Compassion is a feeling empathy and sadness for those less fortunate than ourselves, along with a need to help them.

Helping others has lots of benefits. Through showing compassion to other people, we can gain a sense of accomplishment.  Somehow showing compassion to other people might come more naturally than it is to ourselves.  Kindness to one person grows to another, and can be the start of compassion for oneself.

When we give something of ourselves in the service of another person, you are giving something entirely unique. You are going beyond yourself and sharing your talents with the world. Can you see already how this is good for self-esteem?

Compassion for Others and Your Self-Esteem

Your self-esteem can grow when you try to put yourself in another person’s shoes, then try to help them. This way, you can discover empathy. You do not need to try to help someone to rescue them, but because in the scheme of life, helping one person can start the chain of many people being helped.

How to Help Others

There are many ways you can reach out to other people and show compassion. One way of helping other people is to volunteer. There are hundreds of ways to volunteer. Often you can make use of your strengths when you volunteer. Think about the skills you have and how they might be used to help someone else.

Perhaps you have good computer skills. There are probably many organizations that could make use of these! It is not wise to volunteer for something that you are not interested in, as you will struggle to commit.

You may find the benefits of volunteering surprising, from meeting new friends to developing a skill, and even getting job opportunities at the end of it.

Compassion to Ourselves

Just as we give to others, giving to ourselves is also important.  What are your needs, and how are these needs being met? Although it’s great to get out and help others by volunteering, it is also important to find a balance between helping others and helping ourselves.

How to Love Yourself 

We have already looked at how diet and exercise are essential parts of looking after ourselves. These can greatly affect our mood and help give us more energy. Nurturing what’s inside is equally important.

Reflect on what you have learned about talking positively to yourself, stopping negative thought patterns and affirmations. These are all ways of showing more affection to yourself. Learning how to frame your daily thoughts and feelings differently can open up a whole new world of self-love.

We Are All Imperfect 

In Japanese culture, there is a concept called Wabi Sabi which embraces the ideas of imperfection and transition. If we can embrace the idea that everything in our life changes over time, that flaws are an integral part of who we are, then we don’t have to wait until something is finished or perfect, before we relax.

It may seem like a revolutionary idea in our modern day society, which preaches perfection, but we may actually be liked because of our quirks and flaws. Can you love what there is, instead of criticize what there is not?

Accepting yourself, being gentle with yourself, and liking who you are does not need to involve spending lots of money or fancy equipment. To practice the art of self-compassion, one first needs to accept not being perfect. Doing so is incredibly liberating. Humans are fallible, and that’s okay.

In becoming compassionate to ourselves, many doors open to us. We allow ourselves to start healing, and we invite love and help from others.

Creating an Action Plan

Write 5 ways in which you might be able to help others. Then, list 5 ways in which you can show yourself more compassion.  For example:

Ways to Help Others

What I will do

When I will do it

1. Help seniors in your community

Visit a retirement home

Next Monday afternoon

Key Points

  • In being compassionate towards others, we can also help ourselves.

  • There are many ways of giving. Think about how you personally can brighten someone’s day.

  • Being compassionate to ourselves is as important as showing compassion to others.

Full reference: 

(Dec 23, 2015). Compassion. Retrieved Jul 24, 2024 from

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