Debilitating arachnophobia is incredibly challenging, but things can indeed get better. Don't beat yourself up, simply read on and take the first step of the road to feeling better.
Some people who struggle with arachnophobia, upon noticing spider in the room, are tempted to stand and move across the room, zero in on the eight-legged creature, and never take their eyes off it. Others may go as far as tearing their home apart, just so they can make sure they know where the spider is and what it is doing. Debilitating arachnophobia may often involve hyper-ventilation, difficulty breathing and other extremely unpleasant symptoms.
Right now it may seem as though there is no solution. However, the key is to stop trying so hard to control your anxiety. In many cases, focusing your anxiety and trying to prevent yourself from experiencing the symptoms, may actually increase your panic.
The key to this step is figuring out when you have clasped control too hard. There are two sides to the need of controlling everything. On the one hand, feeling like you have control over the situation can help you feel more confident. On the other hand though, trying to control your anxiety, rather than understand, acknowledge and cope with it, can increase your fear of spiders.
So, before to begin coping with your arachnophobia, find a calm and relaxing place, where you won't be disturbed by anybody, and acknowledge your phobia. Try to honestly think about how it affects your life, its origins and symptoms. Pay close attention especially to the symptoms and think about how supressing them won't work, but would rather exasperate you even more.
This can take a while, since it is an entirely new way of looking at your life, but be patient and make sure you finish this step before you move on.